I was married at the turn of this century when gold wedding rings were still common but platinum rings were coming in style. My dress was a white satin ball gown style with a white lace overlay which was traditional, but long slender dresses were coming into vogue.
When I was married, I wore clear pumps, almost like a Cinderella slipper. I thought my fairy tale was beginning. And indeed it was, but I was not walking into a “happily ever after”. It was the beginning of a journey, which would include steep ascends, invisible potholes, sharp drops, beautiful vistas and long plateaus. It meant happiness, heartbreak, meditation, mindfulness, and so much growth.
I love watching the shifts in wedding fashion. The rings, the gowns, the shoes, the ambiance. If I were married today, it would look very different from my first. Not just because the trends have changed, but also because I have changed.
The dress wouldn’t be all white- it would be dusty rose, have a pink sash, or pink embellishments. Because our marriage hasn’t been years of bland white unattainable perfection. It’s been mostly beautiful, with moments of sweat, blood and tears that have tinted our lives to a beautiful shade that reminds us of what it took to get here.
The ring likewise would be mostly white, with a place for pink diamonds to represent the rare & beautiful treasure we possess after all these years.
The ceremony and reception hall would not need be large and ornate, with gifts and a long guest list comprising mostly my parents friends. It would be quiet and on the beach with my children and close friends – those who rooted me on during the good years and the hard years.
And luckily for me, one thing would be the same. It would be with the same person… except then again; not really. Because he has changed. I have changed. We have both changed for the better. For the long haul. Where we don’t anticipate our “happily ever after” to show up on our doorstep in the mail with the marriage license but where we choose everyday to honor the other person “today”. Then we repeat that choice with each rising of the sun, each new day we live in the present and both choose to love the other fiercely.
If you were to choose to marry someone today, how would it look the same from the dreams of your past. How would it look different?