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Super Sweet Postal Dude

So…. I have a confession to make. I hate the post office. It’s a major time-suck. I’ve had better experiences at the DMV. There. I said it.
Luckily, I found a super cool private postal place owned and operated by a super cool postal dude. He is lightning fast and friendly. We shall call him by his name – Super Sweet Postal Dude. Or, SSPD for short.
Our relationship began kinda like this. (Don’t worry – it’s totally platonic although I do love him for saving me from the dreaded long lines at our ghetto old USPS office)
Me: Hello there. My name is Lucy. I have a lot of books to ship. Can you get this stack out today? Also, Can you weigh this book and tell me how much it would cost me to ship a hundred to Malaysia?
SSPD: Wow. Um. Sure thing. (Looking at the book). All of these packages weigh the same – they’re all this book?
Me: Yup. These are all the singles. But I need to find the lowest price on 100 to Malaysia, 400 to Texas and 50 to Canada.
SSPD: Why so many books?
Me: Oh, I’m the author. They’re going to my friends.
SSPD: Really?! That’s amazing! (Now flipping through it as I awkwardly stand there watching) What’s it about?
(Oh Gee)
Me: It’s a book for women on how to use Essential Oils to balance hormones and improve libido.
SSPD: Holy Crap. My wife needs this. Where can I buy it?
Me: Essential Oil bookstores or Amazon if you want just one. If you need a bundle, then you can get them direct from me with bulk pricing. Then I ship them out at the best price I can find. For example, how much to ship a hundred to Malaysia?
SSPD: Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that this is a book about ESSENTIAL OILS??!! And you can use them to support HORMONES and LIBIDO?! And YOU are the author and you are here to ship this information to WOMEN ALL OVER THE WORLD???!!!
Me: ummmmmmm….. Yes…….
SSPD: I am giving you a DISCOUNT.
And that is the beginning of a fantastic new friendship.