Je le vaux bien… the tattoo I never got

Je le vaux bien. I am worth it. Well worth it.

I was cleaning out an old drawer, and came across a small innocent looking package that opened a world of memories. Inside the clear pouch, was a stack of small customized temporary tattoos -affirmations of hope, love and light. Some were popular affirmations, made popular through social media and Pinterest inspiration boards. There was one however, that was custom designed, to wear near my heart; “Je le vaux bien”

I am well worth it. It was a reminder of unsolicited quests I had conquered and the lessons I had learned. I lived by prayer, faith and affirmation. It was a positive reminder to me of my unending value. I was worth loving; I was worth being loved. I was of value to those I blessed, those who loved me, and most importantly I was worth it to my Savior who most deeply understood my heart.

It was the perfect affirmation for my living memoir, but before I committed it to ink, I decided to wear it as a temporary tattoo for at least 3 months. I bulk ordered custom tattoos to replace weekly. I wanted to see if the affirmation pulled my heart more more intensely over time, or if the desire to wear it near my heart would fade.

I wore it for several weeks, got too busy to keep replacing it… and eventually forgot.

Until today.

Today, it resurfaced from the back of the drawer. I had two left. I pulled it out, and put them both on.

Ironically enough, this came after a weekend of utter joy with my family. I proudly watched my son perform a skill he had worked on all year. I observed my husband help my other son through some difficult emotions, giving him tools such that he walked away empowered. We spent time together, laughing, swimming, playing, and loving. I am SO loved. Late at night, my sweet husband brought me a blanket because I was cold and held me in his arms. I held back tears of happiness. My heart swelled with gratitude for the little things that make life so beautiful.

Je le vaux bien. I am well worth it. I put it on and it didn’t feel comfortable anymore. It was no longer a reminder of my value…. rather it was a reminder that there was a time that I NEEDED a reminder.

And so, I will let it fade.

But while it no longer feels right on the skin,  it’s very much imprinted in my heart.

I am loved.
I am worth it.
I have others to love.
I have others to bless.
Je le vaux bien.

Et, tu le vaux bien aussi.