So. My neighborhood holds an annual Christmas party. All the couples get sitters for the kids and get together as adults for a great dinner and night of fun. Mr. Libido and I look forward to it every year.
As many holiday parties go, the further the night progressed, the more the glasses of wine that were drunk. I’m not much of a drinker, never have been, but we always stick around until desert. Usually about 2 hours in though… people start to get very…. well….. what’s the word… HONEST.
One of my BFFs Dahlia, started attracting a lot of attention. She had couples gathered around her with their mouths opened wide. She was talking about her New Year’s Resolution punch card. I asked her to explain, as I was embarrassingly 3 minutes late to the conversation. She openly told me that in the beginning of the year, she made a New Year’s resolution to have sex an average of twice a week with her husband, and that she had made herself a punch card to hold herself accountable.
A Punch card! MAN. No escaping that.
I asked if she REALLY had kept up with her resolution, and she said that she had 7 times to catch up by the end of the year – but darn it she would do it. She would NOT miss her goal.
K, so this is when the alcohol started talking. Of course, all the men in the room grabbed their wives like “HONEY!! You have GOT to hear about DAHLIAS PUNCHCARD!!!” Then all the wives were like “DAHLIA! SERIOUSLY, are you TRYING to make me look bad?!” And then it opened the conversation up about frequency… and oh my goodness.
Keep in mind…. none of them know I am Lucy Libido. Or, that I was taking NOTES hahahahaha.
Oliva declared that her punch card would SURELY contain more punches if she had one…. then the sister wives club all aligned to defend that they had due cause for a much smaller punch card; Dahlia doesn’t have infants and toddlers after all. Then Marsha started throwing expletives because she knew that EVERYONE was lying. It was okay. We love Marsha. We know that she loves wine.
Then poor Dahlia…..she didn’t intend to open a debate. The topic of New’s Year resolutions brought it up. She literally was doing what she needed in her marriage. She was pushing herself towards a goal, because for whatever reason, she knew that it was right for HER.
Do we as women, spend too much time worrying that our “punch card” is not enough? Do we look at others and think that they certainly have it all together? Do we assume that the girl next door has more frequency, a better body, a hotter love life and the perfect man?
I assure you that she does not.
Do you think that Dahlia set that as her resolution because she and her spouse were completely satisfied with the frequency in their love life? Or does it make more sense that she decided that she needed to GROW.
Does it matter that her punch card was larger than the rest of us? Are we inadequate? No.
Is she fearless and amazing and inspiring for setting a goal and sticking to it?!! Wow! YES!
My purpose of this post is NOT to discuss frequency. Please don’t post your frequency / lack of frequency in the comments. I share because I found it inspiring. I was inspired by Dahlia NOT because of X times a week. I was inspired by Dahlia, because she chose what was right for HER marriage, regardless of others. She held herself accountable and though I haven’t checked in with her since… I KNOW she caught up those 7 times before the end of the year.
I encourage you to take a look at where YOU are now. Not anybody else. Are you happy? Is there room to grow?
In the free downloads section, we are giving away several Dahlia punchcards through the month of January. You can use them for any goal you’d like. It can be exercise, business, personal or intimacy goals. There are different cards for weekly or monthly goals. You choose your goal, write it down, and use that punch card to hold yourself accountable. Have fun!