When I was writing Lucy Libido, I started by focusing on the beauty of women.
Many of my friends told me that they don’t feel “sexy enough”. Most of them have bodies that have changed with time. Their silhouettes have transitioned through pregnancy, time, age or injury. Perhaps they never deemed themselves “sexy enough” to start with; viewing themselves as replete with cosmetic flaws or lacking in virtues to self-love. “Sexy enough” is subjective. If the definition of sexy is tall and thin with huge doll-like eyes, then I’m toast. If it’s poreless skin, no wrinkles, collar bone-hugging cleavage and a two-inch gap between the thighs… then, yeah. None of us are sexy. Myself included.
You need to know that a big part of feeling sexy is not defined by how you look physically. It comes from an inner panache that emanates from the core moving outward. It’s a silent but seductive confidence of knowing that You. Are. Beautiful.
I asked my cohorts of Lucy friends to tell me what makes them beautiful. What makes them wonderful. What makes them, sexy. I asked them to describe what makes their spouses attracted to them.
You know what–they had a hard time. They had a hard time describing what makes them beautiful. Especially, beyond their physical features. Most of them did not answer. I think that was a wake-up call.
I think that we are so focused on our so-called “flaws” that we forget to embrace everything that is beautiful about ourselves. And do you know what the MOST beautiful and sexy thing is????? A woman who knows that she is beautiful!
I think we need to be a little kinder. A little more self-forgiving. I remember a day when I was putting on a swimsuit and my hips hadn’t seen the sun in many months. The paleness of my trunk made the light faint streaks of my stretch marks that were usually unnoticeable a bit more prominent. I heard two voices, one speaking in each ear. The critical voice impulsively said, “You can see them. Everyone will see them”. But the forgiving voice was so much more kind. She said, “Let the whole world see. For they are your badges of grace and honor; to be worn with pride. They represent the greatest pain you ever endured, to bring to pass the greatest joy you’ve ever known.”
I encourage you to write I AM BEAUTIFUL on a piece of paper. Take a selfie with it. Send it to Betsy@LucyLibido.com. You may just end up on our Selfie page.