The Wedding of Your Dreams

I was married at the turn of this century when gold wedding rings were still common but platinum rings were coming in style. My dress was a white satin ball gown style with a white lace overlay which was traditional, but long slender dresses were coming into vogue.

When I was married, I wore clear pumps, almost like a Cinderella slipper. I thought my fairy tale was beginning. And indeed it was, but I was not walking into a “happily ever after”. It was the beginning of a journey, which would include steep ascends, invisible potholes, sharp drops, beautiful vistas and long plateaus. It meant happiness, heartbreak, meditation, mindfulness, and so much growth.

I love watching the shifts in wedding fashion. The rings, the gowns, the shoes, the ambiance. If I were married today, it would look very different from my first. Not just because the trends have changed, but also because I have changed.

The dress wouldn’t be all white- it would be dusty rose, have a pink sash, or pink embellishments. Because our marriage hasn’t been years of bland white unattainable perfection. It’s been mostly beautiful, with moments of sweat, blood and tears that have tinted our lives to a beautiful shade that reminds us of what it took to get here.

The ring likewise would be mostly white, with a place for pink diamonds to represent the rare & beautiful treasure we possess after all these years.

The ceremony and reception hall would not need be large and ornate, with gifts and a long guest list comprising mostly my parents friends. It would be quiet and on the beach with my children and close friends – those who rooted me on during the good years and the hard years.

And luckily for me, one thing would be the same. It would be with the same person… except then again; not really. Because he has changed. I have changed. We have both changed for the better. For the long haul. Where we don’t anticipate our “happily ever after” to show up on our doorstep in the mail with the marriage license but where we choose everyday to honor the other person “today”. Then we repeat that choice with each rising of the sun, each new day we live in the present and both choose to love the other fiercely.

If you were to choose to marry someone today, how would it look the same from the dreams of your past. How would it look different?

XOXO,

Lucy

Comments (3)

  • Hmm… I definitely would have a smaller wedding and I would go on a honeymoon this time!! For AS LONG AS POSSIBLE! HA! 🙂 I would even have it outside, in the woods. I too, am still with the same man… but if I could change it, I would. Maybe I’ll just have a ‘renewing of vows’ to replace the wedding…?

  • Absolutely beautiful Lucy! I met my husband 2 hrs after my dad dropped me off to college (!) & we got married the following November. It’s been 39 years…You’re right the blood, sweat & tears are what shaped us & made us who we are today. One of my favorite quotes is from the song “I am” by AWOL Nation (‘maybe all of these things make me who I am’).

  • We had a large wedding too. We both come from large families so an intimate affair was out of the question. My father had 12 siblings! Toss in the spouses and cousins and you have a village! Dan and I were leaving a family picknic in our younger years and I thought out loud our wedding should have been in the mountains with horseshoes and volleyball. Hot dogs and hambergers with a pasta salad and fruit ambrosia! It would have been just as fun. We must be doing something right because we have been married for 45 years. Not all blissful mind you. Stuff happened that we now laugh at and share. We tell everyone we stayed married because it was agreed whoever wanted a divorce had to take the kids. That part is true and I ment it too!! There have been times I wanted to reach right into his chest and pull out his beating heart and through it at the wall, hard too! Just like the seen in the movie “Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom”. I love this man. The question is, would he marry me. I was pregnant when we got married. We had dated five years. (Add that to the 45 and you have a lifetime.) We were talking marriage. All Peter did was move the date up, nothing more. Dan took a job that moved us to Arizona from New Mexico. I packed most some of the House by myself because Dan was taking summer classes in Guanajuato, Mexico for 8 weeks. I wasn’t feeling myself and blamed it on all the stress. After our move to Phoenix it was discovered I had lupus. All of a sudden our lives really took a turn. I had to claim disability. It has been 18 years. I’m much better than I was. Life is good and I thank God everyday I can get up. I couldn’t have done this without my husband. We agree we are good for each other. I thank God he directed Daniel to me.

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